


still lonely

by kistachies (hqkaiden)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, its very minor tho!!!!!, mentions of self-destructive tendencies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 17:46:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6817777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hqkaiden/pseuds/kistachies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>jihoon is worried about jun. usually it's the other way around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	still lonely

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [yue ding ;; 約定](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5401988) by [galaxytaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxytaos/pseuds/galaxytaos). 



> i have no clue what this is supposed to be this is literal word vomit i'm sorry 
> 
> altho im not sorry about the fact that it's junhoon i love junhoon
> 
> this hasn't been proofread or anything so please excuse the bad grammar/spelling srry ilyall 
> 
> oh!!! and this was partially inspired by that other junhoon fic, 'yue ding' by galaxytaos so go check that one out if u haven't!!!! 
> 
> and the setting for this is kinda ambiguous like it could be predebut or post yk just whichever u wanna view it as
> 
> my twitter: @jisungsluv

jihoon worries about jun. usually, it’s the other way around. 

jun makes so many promises. and he keeps them. but one day, and jihoon is sure of it, he’s going to makes so many promises that he’ll strain himself to try and keep them all. that won’t be a good day.

jihoon wonders if jun even takes care of himself. the elder is always the first awake, first to shower, first to eat--or they all assume he does these things, because _no one’s really seen him eat much, and did anyone see him even get into bed that night?_ jihoon wonders if jun gets enough sleep, but then he realizes how hypocritical that is, considering that he himself stays in the studio till dawn.

jihoon also wonders if jun is okay. it’s got to be difficult to live miles and miles away from your family, in a country with a language you’ve just barely come to grasp. he’s a bit surprised he’s never seen jun in the middle of a breakdown (especially since it’s happened to literally everyone else). and to try and take care of everyone else, make sure they’re all okay, and things like that, it _has_ to be added weight onto his shoulder. hell, even jihoon, who’s dubbed as their producer, feels a lot of stress _without_ all of those things.

one night, jihoon stops wondering all of these things. because he gets an answer. he finds jun still in their practice room, way after everyone else has left, and by now jihoon is usually back too. but jun is dancing, and with the most intense and determined look on his face, that he can’t help but stay to watch.

he slides down on the side wall, out of jun’s line of sight. and he watches. and he begins to admire. jun moves like this is what he was built for; like this is what he spent his entire life doing. he moves so smoothly, and there so much emotion in his moves and jihoon didn’t know that was possible, _what?_ his eyes trail up to jun’s eyes. they are intense and ablaze, glazed over with focus and exhaustion. it’s once jun has done the dance many more times and jihoon has run out of things to discover about him, that is presence is acknowledged. as jun’s eyes land on jihoon, his gaze softens, and a wave of affection and fondness shines in his pupils. jihoon chokes on his breath.

“you should be asleep, jihoon-ah,” jun mutters as he grabs his phone and a towel.

“you too, hyung. usually you’re gone by now--why are you still here?” jihoon goes to stand next to him.

“it… today was a bit rough. i felt like practicing a bit more, i think i needed it.”

“you danced for 3 hours straight, jun. it’s like 6:30 AM. you need to get some sleep,” jihoon puts a hand on jun’s shoulder and stares him eye-to-eye. jun just laughs.

“the others should be getting up soon, yeah? i’ve got to make breakfast for them,” jihoon sends him a disapproving look, “and then you and i will sleep. alright?”

“but i have stuff i need to work on, i--”

“and so do i. however, we both need sleep,” and jun has this look on his face, and jihoon knows there no point in arguing with him.

“fine.” they both stay in silence as jun cleans things up and gets his things together--well, it's silence until jihoon speaks up.

“hyung.”

“hm?” jun hums from across the room.

“i worry about you.”

“what? why are you worrying about _me_?”

“do you even sleep? or eat enough? no one sees you go to bed, and i swear i only see you eat once a day, and you really should be getting enough sleep since you're a dancer, and--”

“jihoon, you're seriously worrying about me? don’t, okay? i’m fine, i can take care of myself. _i’m_ the one that should be worrying about _you_ , not the other way around.”

jihoon huffs. “but still--”

“i get at least 6 hours of sleep, which is still more than how long you sleep, i’m sure. i eat a minimum of 2 meals a day, or enough for me to get through the day. which, i’m certain, is _still_ more than what you eat. i can take care of myself, jihoon. i’m here to worry about you all, alright?” jun pauses, and reaches out for jihoon’s hand. “now c’mon. you look tired. let’s get back to the dorms, yeah?”

jihoon just frowns and takes jun’s hand.

well, he got his answers. not exactly the ones he was looking for, but answers.

 

-

 

jihoon’s questions were answered, but now he has new ones. like, ‘ _how are jun’s hands so soft?_ ’, and ‘ _when did his eyes become so pretty?_ ’. the one that plagues him the most, however, is ‘ _why do i feel the urge to kiss him?_ ’.

he doesn’t get much time to dwell on these, though. this new sort of atmosphere comes over the group, and everyone is stuck in work mode. they’re pumping out choreographies, jihoon has gotten around 7 demos done, and, overall, they’ve probably written over 100 lines of lyrics.

it isn't until much later that jihoon finds himself alone with jun. like the first time, they're both at the studios much later than they should be. jihoon stops and watches jun dance once again, and he sees the same determination and vigor, only intensified. he’s left staring in amazement and awe for so long that he doesn't even register the music stopping, or the body now sitting beside him.

“you’re here late again, jihoon,” jun murmurs. his eyes are closed, and his chest heaves with exhaustion and leftover adrenaline. (jihoon catches himself staring again.)

“you are too, hyung.”

“sure am. when's the last time you ate?”

“huh?” jihoon scrunched his nose in thought. “i don’t really remember. why?”

jun doesn't answer him, and instead gathers up his things and reaches out a hand to jihoon, once again. he takes it.

jun leads them out of their studio, and into the cooling night air. however, they're going the opposite direction of the dorms, and jihoon is really confused.

“ehm, jun? the dorms are the other way, why are--,” jun cuts him off.

“we’re going to eat.”

“...what?”

jun sighs, as if his reasoning is obvious. “you can't even remember the last time you ate, i’m hungry, and there's a place with really good chinese food, and it’s open all night.”

“oh,” jihoon mutters. “but i’m not really hungry. and it’s really late. we seriously need to be getting back. the others will notice if we don't come back.”

“it’ll be fine. and you don't _think_ you're hungry. but you and i both know that when you get into these working crazes,” jun makes various gestures with the hand that wasn't grasped onto jihoon's, “you neglect basic human needs.”

jihoon opens his mouth to protest, but jun continues. “which, is why i’m here. goodness knows that without me, you all would be a mess.” he keeps talking, but jihoon doesn’t really register it; he’s too busy watching jun, because he has this grin on his face and it looks so lopsided but cute, and the moonlight just makes his skin glow, and his eyes look so bright.

jihoon realizes something.

he is completely and utterly captivated by wen junhui.

wow.

 

-

 

eating with jun wasn’t that bad. really.

they get to the restaurant not much later, and sit wherever. as expected, they’re the only ones there, and are greeted by a waiter who’s not much older than the two of them. jun peers at jihoon over his menu, whom raises an eyebrow in response.

“what?”

“what do you want to get?”

“uh… i don’t know? you’re the one who's been here before, you order for us,” jihoon scratches the back of his neck, because eating alone with jun is so foreign to him, and he has no clue what to do.

“if you say so,” jun gives him this look, and jihoon has to turn away. this will be one of the most awkward meals of his life.

jun orders, and they sit in silence. jihoon left his phone at the studio, causing him to have nothing to occupy himself. jun taps his fingers on the table and speaks up.

“this place is much nicer around lunchtime; the older woman who owns the place is usually here, then. she’s very friendly, and there’s this kind of family atmosphere,” he murmurs. jihoon sees a flash of fondness in his eyes.

“this is where you and minghao come every now and then, right?”

he nods. “i think we mostly come here since the owner's chinese, and it’s kind of,” he motions with his hand, “kind of like we’re eating with our grandmothers or something, you know? it helps get rid of the homesickness, at least.”

jihoon can’t help but smile a bit. “that’s good, to have something to help with it.”

jun puts on a grin of his own. “yeah, it really is. plus, we’ve made her a fan. she’s always asking for updates on you all, when we stop by,” he leans forward and covers his face with his hand, as if he were whispering a secret. “i think she likes seungkwan the most.”

“really? i’ll have to get her to like me more, then.”

“oh, good luck with that. she’s got her heart set on him,” jihoon lets out a laugh at that, and jun takes a sip of his drink, amused.

from there on, they both, surprisingly, keep good conversation. jun almost chokes on his food twice, and jihoon has to constantly make sure he doesn’t spit out his food or drink when jun tells a joke. and he laughs a lot more than he thought he would.

they both leave the restaurant with lighter hearts and grins on their faces.

as soon as they’re outside, jun grasps onto jihoon’s hand--who doesn’t protest one bit.

“so, where to now?” jun asks, swinging their conjoined hands.  
  
“the dorms, right?”

“the dorms? already? no! we’re having a good time, are we not? we should go do something else! it’s only,” he glances at his watch, “2:44 AM!”

“that’s late though!” jihoon argues. (although his smile gives him away.)

“actually, if we’re being technical, it’s quite early,” jun jokes, and jihoon punches his shoulder.

“fine then. what should we do, mr. ‘i-refuse-to-go-home’?”

jun laughs. “hm. how about a park?”

“that depends. will you push me on the swings?”

jun stops walking and takes jihoon’s hands in his own, and saids, “until you reach the stars, jihoon.”

 

-

 

they’re at the park for at least an hour, laughing and running around, and this is the best that jihoon has felt in _months._ soon, they find themselves lying side-by-side in the sandbox, stars twinkling above them.

“hyung,” jihoon mutters. he’s resting his head on the elder’s chest, whom was drifting off into sleep.

“hm?”

“thank you for taking me out to do this little, rendezvous adventure thing. i actually had fun,” and he is so sincere about this, the most sincere he’s ever been. (and jun most certainly notices.)

“anytime you need a detox from work--or just a break in general--come find me, jihoon. i’m here for you.”

he glances up at jun, whom has this soft smile on his face but it’s so bright and exultant, and a warm feeling blooms in his chest whenever he looks at that smile.

jihoon realizes something for the second time that night.

he feels absolutely at home, here in jun’s embrace.

 

-

 

it’s past 6 AM when they get back to the dorms, and everyone is already awake. seungcheol interrogates the pair about where they’ve been, and jun lies right through his pearly white teeth, saying they’ve been practicing and working. he accepts the answer and rushes them off to bed to rest, although they’ll definitely be scolded for not going to the day’s scheduled practice or lessons. (seungcheol not-so-discreetly eyes their conjoined hands, but says nothing.)

as they lay there, and jihoon thinks over the past few hours, he feels content. he’s learned a lot about himself, and a lot about jun. he’s still a bit confused about how his feelings towards his hyung, but right before sleep claims him, jun leans over and presses soft kisses all over jihoon’s face, landing the last one right on the lips.

jihoon realizes that he wants to kiss jun more often. and that's okay, because jun wants the same thing too. 


End file.
